Please Tell Me It's Not Just Gas

Tomorrow is the big day! I think I'm about to throw up. lol No, I don't think it's morning sickness...it'd be too early for that. lol

Speaking of that though, I can't really read my body. I have had many months before where I thought the symptoms meant I was preggo. I would take about 5 online quizzes that would say I was 80% or whatever possibly pregnant only to get my period a few days later. I've been 9 days late before...I've been a week early. I have had bloating, strange spotting. sore boobs, heavier boobs, discharge, dizziness, gas, more...and NOPE...nada.

Obviously, because I would have a baby right now.

As you can see by my colorful description...my body is misleading. Part of that is due to my hyperprolactinemia but I'm hoping that has been more regulated now. I can't count the not getting my period as a good sign because this was my first month on Clomid. I've heard it can change your cycle. So....again...can't listen to it.

UGH! To all of you who said "just listen to your body"....I can't!! :( Anyways.........

If it's a BFP......then it's going to be the best day ever!!! But then followed by many nervous days hoping that everything stays on track. I have no idea if I'm able to sustain a pregnancy.

If it's a BFN, then it will be devastating....but I will hopefully plan for October to be the "lucky month" as my September possibility has probably passed by.

Who am I kidding? I don't know what I'm talking about. lol

Too bad I wasn't able to POAS. I might have known already the results. But I can't so I am going in at 7am...Ugh that means I have to get up at 6.

Luckily, it's for a good cause. :)

Sometimes I can picture life with at least one child...taking them places or doing things with them. Sometimes I am even having to discipline them. lol I imagine cuddling with them, and then laughing at all the cute things they do....the first everythings....And the really horrible diapers.

Sometimes I find it hard to think that I am actually a married woman that could have a child. Me? What? I still like Froot Loops and Ninja Turtles. lol

I tape Hannah Montana and Ben 10 weekly. I know almost every Jonas Brothers song!

I am very in tune with my inner child.

But working with other people's kids at the day care, babysitting, or even elementary schools...has shown me the "mom" side of myself. It looks very much like my own mother. Somewhat of an EEK moment, hehe.

My mom...who is the best person ever. She may be a little paranoid sometimes (she seriously comes up with some crazy things), but I don't know anyone else with such a big heart. If I am half the mom to my kids as she has been to me...I will be AWESOME.

Sure I was the first kid, so I'm sure they made some mistakes, lol. So I undoubtedly will do the same. But if I am lucky enough to be blessed...if WE are lucky enough to be blessed with a healthy, happy child...it would be the single most significant experience in my entire life.

Well, maybe right after my actual birth. That was kinda necessary. :)

Our wedding was wonderful too...but to create an actual life from our love (and the help of Janet, the IUI lady)....would be a true miracle.

Sappy...I know...but it's true.

Part of me doesn't want to know tomorrow. Can't I just skip it and find out in 9 months? lol

No, guess not. :)

I wonder what they would do if I didn't show up.....hmmmm......jk!

OK well now I have to be up in less than  6 hrs...so I better go. Send me some baby dust and think BFP thoughts!!! :)