100% Pregnant...100% Still Confused

Well you may not believe this as much as I don't but here it goes...

We met with the doctor today after an ultrasound to make sure nothing was growing in my tube. Nothing was found at this time. I guess that is good. It still has the potential to be growing in the wrong spot, but they couldn't find anything yet. Good and bad.....

Then we went to the RE's office and talked to him about my levels and how they were strange. He actually is confused by this. I made a joke saying that I am a medical marvel and he was glad I am able to have a sense of humor right now.

That's really the only way to get through this...

Anyways, he goes on to say that this is not a normal pregnancy but he can't be sure it's an abnormal pregnancy yet or what exactly is going on. He even made a comment after looking at the ultrasound that he will be biting his nails and wringing his hands. lol

This makes me so confident.

Not...

But at least he's being nice about it. Now I have to come back on Monday the 27th for a beta test and a possible ultrasound.

My levels are not high enough in correlation to where I should be in the pregnancy (about 5wks, 6 days). I don't know what that means...or even if there is a baby in there. Or one that will survive all of this.

He did say that I am 100% pregnant...but what will happen is something he doesn't know either.

So after all of last week's roller coaster, and then the bomb about might having a tubal pregnancy....I STILL don't know for sure what's going on!

Dear Baby,

If you are in there and playing games with Momma, I will still love you. I just need you to give me a sign that you will be okay and that all this worrying will have a positive outcome in 9 months. I don't want to lose you but you are worrying your family and doctor. Please be healthy and somewhat more cooperative. Mommy has to wait another week and freak out to see what's going to happen with you. I have a lifetime of worry to start once your born, but I guess you decided to start now...Please don't wait to give us good news. We really could use some good, solid news.

love,
Mommy xoxo


That's all I can update for now...As you can imagine, I am kind of a distracted mess right now.

Listening to Angel by Sarah MacLachlan (sp) as it is my 2nd favorite song.