Cuts and Bruises of the actual kind

Just got my instructions for the transfer tomorrow.

What a weird email to get. This is the time, place, and doctor that will put your potential babies in your womb.

Weird.

It's much earlier than I thought. I don't know if that is good or bad but hey...it's happening. 7am I need to drink 20oz of water. If you know my bladder, that is going to be a problem. So now while I'm already hoping I don't toot during the procedure, I have to worry about not peeing on myself or anyone either. 7:30 we have to be there. We talk to embryology and maybe sign papers. I forget. We signed the okay for them to be thawed already. I get undressed and Hubs puts on a crazy small outfit that makes him look silly...but cute. :) And by 8 or so, I'll probably have my vajayjay in the air and all will be underway. Hopefully.

My emotions go from extreme excitement to worry and nervousness. And then there's the inevitable embarrassment of it all too.

My butt has bruises from the progesterone oil injections. Fun.

And today I accidentally cut myself 2x with a razor. Once on my inner thigh and the other one...well, let's just say when the HUGE light is helping them navigate "down there", I won't be surprised if they giggle while they are up close and personal. So even more things to worry about doing or not doing or being embarrassed about.

I hope they don't giggle as I am hopefully NOT the first or last person to do that...

Ugh.

Hubs thinks it's kinda funny. And while I was sitting in the bathroom trying to get it stop bleeding...well, I kinda thought it was a tad funny too.

But my biggest concern aside from the embarrassment factor was...would it impede or hinder the transfer somehow?

Will I get all undressed for nothing just to have them take one look and say "oh no, we can't do it with that disaster there" or something? Silly I know. But I seriously would call the dr office to talk to a nurse if they were still accepting voicemails. After 4, they can't guarantee a response until the next day.

So while I write these blog entries for myself and to help others...I also write them so you can learn from my mistakes.

Or know what you're getting yourself into.

Sometimes I seriously just shake my head...at myself.

For those of you new to transfers ...I suggest finding my IVF transfer blog post because I tried my best to explain it.

Perhaps I will recreate the visual for you tomorrow after I get home.

I was watching an episode of Giuliana and Bill the other night and they went all the way to Denver to see a specialist to begin the process of IVF again. The genetics counselor (or whatever) said that it's hard for patients to believe that it could happen, that it could work.

That's sooo true.

There are so many people who have been through way more than we have, but I'm already up to 3 IUIs, 1 IVF, and now my first frozen embryo transfer.

So tomorrow morning around 8am (central time)...please think good thoughts for us. Whether you're new or an old follower, a friend, a lurker, or a complete stranger that knows what I am going through, I appreciate that you allow me to tell my story and that maybe you will be rooting for us. You know how much we want this. And have wanted it for a long time now.

Will this be it for us? I don't know. But I am certainly hoping and praying that it is.

I'm going on bed rest as soon as I get home. I might be a little less strict about it come Saturday but for Thurs and Fri...my bed is my new bff.

Last time I worked stupid hours after the IVF transfer and I still kick myself for it. The paper they give you clearly says not to even vacuum. Not that I know what that is (LOL) but I can imagine that it is less work than working 9 or 10 hours in a preschool class with 20 kids that don't know how to clean up.

Yeah...not good.

So I'm taking a break from the world. I will eat when I want to or sleep when I want to and watch movies and tv when I want to.

These embryos are going to get my undivided attention. Whether it works or not, I will at least know I did what I could. There's always something else I'm sure that can be done (healthier, etc) but I just really hope this is going to be it.

Maybe just one baby. Maybe 2. Who knows?

This is the most exciting and gut wrenching and sometimes heartbreaking part of this process.

Bring it.


Happy Baby Wishes,

TheMrs

Gifts Wrapped in Shit

A wise lady told me today about gifts wrapped in shit. OK not literal shit. :)

But basically...we all go through shit. Life throws shit our way all the time. Being infertile is definitely shitty. However, my friend told me that there is a gift wrapped in that shit. We might not know it yet or think there is anything there. If we look deep enough, we will find the lesson in all of the shit and then be able to help others.

So this is my experience with IF. My experience and blog and support for you is my gift that I found out of the shit that is IF. :)

Personally, I don't think I'm quite out of the sifting through shit phase yet because we're still not pregnant ....BUT I'm trying to live through it and help at least someone else realize that they are not alone in this.

On another note, I'm scheduled for my transfer on the 22nd. I found out about a week ago that I have jury duty starting the 26th (yay....not) and it might conflict. Since I don't know how to get out of jury duty in the short period of time I have, I wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay with the transfer first. So after some phone tag with the doctor's office, we had a date. Now I think that still depends on how my body reacts to the Lupron and Estrace I'm on. I have another appointment on Friday the 9th to check things out. So cross your fingers that everything will go smoothly and the 22nd will be the lucky day. I am then taking 2 days off from doing anything other than TV and maybe the computer. No working or cleaning. I'm even missing a big birthday party for one of my friends.

But this is super important. So I'm sorry....but that's how it goes.

Also, for those of you who know me IRL, please do not buy me any baby books (about having babies not books to read to babies) or pregnancy books. Now that one of my FAVORITE stores is going out of business,I have acquired a HUGE collection of books. I probably shouldn't have purchased them since we're not pregnant yet but they were SUCH a good deal. Seriously...it was like they were giving them away.

I will have to count them later and cringe at how many I have. I like to think of it as being optimistic. I find it hard buying actual baby items right now unless I buy it for my niece or friends. I like to think of the books as "hope" pieces and hopefully not books that will collect dust on the shelves.

Also, if I know you IRL, don't be surprised if you get a book as a present when you get preggers. LOL

But I promise it won't be wrapped in shit. :)

Happy Baby Wishes,

TheMrs

PS I can't see my followers list. Anyone know how to fix that??