Girl Scouts Did NOT Prepare Me For This

It's been a week since our news of the 3rd failed IUI. A lot has happened in the world of IF in that week. Let me begin with the silver lining....

Last weekend I went to a dress fitting for one of my best friends. It was a lot of fun and I felt okay. However, somewhere during lunch I started not feeling well. I ended up in bed totally feeling sicker than I have in a long time. Sunday I was having the craziest flashes of being so cold I couldn't get warm to being so hot I went and stood in the garage with my pjs on. I actually went to see the doctor on Monday. I thought it was something like a sinus infection (based on how my head feels/felt that it wants to explode). He said it could be something viral because of my fever. I love how when you go to the doc, you feel better than you did when you called for the appointment and your "horrible fever" turns out to be 99.6. Go figure.

Unfortunately due to my bromocriptine (which is apparently some heavy duty stuff), he  actually told me I was SOL. And I replied, "You're not going to give me any drugs?!"

He did "prescribe" me some OTC Mucinex without a decongestant. I can't have that...

So I've been suffering through this sinus or viral or whatever infection. I also got Aunt Flo on Saturday. Double whammy.

So back to the silver lining....I hate being sick but being this sick after finding out I was FINALLY pregnant would have made me even more nuts. I would have been worried and wouldn't be able to take anything anyways.

Maybe it was a good thing....

Tuesday was our RE consultation. I did suffer through that. I felt a little better and I was not about to wait another week or so to find out what we had to do. I was afraid he was going to tell us we're SOL too. But to me, this was the best consultation we've ever had. I even liked the RE more than I ever had.

I told DH in the car that they would probably do an ultrasound....and they did. Remember....I did  get my lovely period. So well....it was just gross. But it's nothing to me anymore to strip half way down and spread my legs open. LOL

They were checking my ovaries. They look good apparently. I did have a pesky residual follicle or two. But that wasn't worrying them in the least.

After that, we talked to the doctor. In a nutshell, he told us he understood that it's a stressful time that we're going through, and that it's been almost 3 years that we've been trying.

So he suggested IVF.

When we got married and even before, when we talked about having kids, this was never in our vocabulary. I don't think anyone really PLANS on going through fertility treatments to get pregnant let alone having to depend on it.

Yes...this is the only way we're going to have a baby that is biologically ours and will allow me to be pregnant.

Yes, there is A HUGE risk of twins or more. But some people only have singletons. I know several people who only had 1 baby after doing IVF. Some have none.

Yes, it is a LOT of drugs. The doc said "it's a lot of shots. Get over it." LOL

But our combination of issues right now is not allowing it happen naturally or with extra help (IUI). Now we are faced with the next step....or rather....next plunge.

I thought I would be more upset by this or devastated knowing that this is our last hope kind of thing....but I find myself more optimistic. I left that meeting on Tuesday with a new plan. A hopeful plan.

Sure I am scared as hell because I've read good and bad things about IVF. I don't like taking shots if I don't have to, but I have to...so it's my first duty as a future mom.

Bring it on.

For those of you who get confused with the differences between IUI and IVF....let me give you a simple distinction.

IUI they are just inserting sperm so they bypass a lot of the "hard part" of getting to the egg. The rest is up to your body.

IVF is when you purposefully pump your body full of meds to get as many eggs as possible. Then they harvest them, inject the sperm into the egg and then hope a lot of them become embryos. If some do, they put them back in you and hope your body lets them implant in your uterus.

We also have to decide if we want to freeze the remaining eggs, who gets custody of them in we die, divorce, or one of us dies.

Pretty heavy duty stuff. Our consent form is 21 pages.

Sounds like some crazy stuff, huh? Well...it is. There a ton of risks to me and the baby or babies. There are tons of appointments, it's REALLY expensive, etc.

Every shot is planned out and monitored and carefully calculated. The retrieval and the implanting is down to a science.

But it all can go up in smoke at any moment. If my body doesn't respond like it needs to, it could be cancelled. If we miss the timeline for something, it could be cancelled. If none of the embies survive, it can be cancelled.

And even if everything works out perfectly....it could still result in no baby.

We are taking a huge risk. But it's the only thing we can do right now if we want to start a family.

First thing is birth control pills for 10-21 days starting in March when I get my period again. I know that sounds strange but we're telling my body what to do. We're getting it on OUR schedule so we can tell it when not to ovulate and then when to do this or that.

I'm just trying to take it one step at a time. We got our insurance clearance. Over $13,000 is covered but we have to pay for all the meds. I don't know the amount for that yet but it could be in the thousands.

DH assures me he is in it with me and along for the crazy ride....so here we go!