Hormones, Fried Chicken, and Ex-Boyfriends

What a title huh? :) Let me explain...

Hormones...are mean.. Well, it's more like I'm me an when I'm messing with my hormones. I actually tried to explain this to my hubs recently. I hadn't had my period yet but he claimed I was cranky so it was probably coming. I told him that he needs to realize this (because he clearly doesn't) and not push me everytime I walk in the door. He doesn't physically push me but he bugs me about certain things. Sometimes he tries to be funny but I am obviously not feeling it but he continues on and on anyways.

So I said that you wouldn't approach a tiger when its hungry or angry. Sometimes I'm the tiger. No surprise but no response to that one (it was via text). It's just common sense.

I do make a point though, right? A tiger can't change its stripes and I can't change my mood sometimes. Sure, I can try and I do make an effort. However, a tiger can only be poke so much before it bites...or at least make an intimidating roar or growl.

On Wednesday, I finally saw what appeared to be a period and the cramps are a clue that it is definitely here. So, hopefully hubs will take a hint and all will be good.

This period has been a little weird. Just when I thought it was tapering off, it started back full force yesterday. TMI warning...but it was a little "clotty".  Sorry...just not sure if that means anything or not.

Moving on...to fried chicken.

One bonus of bcps and/or not having your period for awhile is NO ZITS! Now that I'm off them, it was as if a colony of pilgrims came to my face and decided to settle there.

I got a lot right away but the under the skin kind that kinda hurts a little. Well, you can feel them and its just uncomfortable. Luckily, I got burnt the other day and I think that it helped a little. Perhaps they can go off and settle on someone else's face. lol

However, the night after getting them is NOT a good time to eat fried chicken! I think all of the grease went to my face. Sigh...but my hormones/ body wanted fried chicken because it has been so long. A catch 22 it was.

Ex-boyfriends....

You may need a little backstory for this one...

In middle school, there was a boy who liked me and pursued me for the whole 3 yrs, every day. Yes, a little stalkerish. lol

In high schol, this same boy continued to pursue me except he actually attempted to  date other girls when I told him no (and I was dating someone else-REALLY long story there). Anyways, eventually we did go out and we also went to ALL of the high school dances together (sometimes as friends and sometimes while dating). He was my first for many things. We were...how do I put this...stupidly in love. But all was not roses. He lied a LOT and his dysfunctional relationship with his parents even landed him in a tent next to my parents' house for a weekend. His family lived 3 houtses behind mine. Anyways, he slept in a tent because my parents weren't stupid (they probably knew things were going on) and wouldn't let him stay in the house. This makes me laugh now...Maybe you had to be there. lol

Anyways, after 4 yrs of a roller coaster relationship, we broke up. Well, he told me he had slept with someone else. He had cheated and I wasn't surprised. After his uncle died in 2003, he was a different person. He did drugs and alcohol. He asked me for money (which yes, I gave him...), got put in jail for shoplifting at Walmart...which I bailed him out, and he showed up  at my dorm room once with hickies all over his neck...and not from me.

So that was 2004. A few years later his girlfriend at the time (who he cheated on me with) contacted me via AIM. Does anyone even use that anymore?? I don't know why she wanted to talk to me but unfortunately he jumped on the computer at one point and was really nasty to me. That was the last time I remember hearing from him. That was maybe 2006.

His sister (the nicest one) is still on my Facebook (because I'm crazy I guess). And I still talk to the girlfriend that IMed me all those years ago (who has married and divorced him) on Facebook too. I know, I know...that's just crazy. But she was cheated on too (big shocker) but (un)fortunately, a child was created from that.

Now he's with some older lady that has 2 teenage children and a 13 month old (who is adorable).

Life is so fair, isn't it?

My point I was getting to was...

About a week ago I came home from doing a craft show with my mom and her friend. I found a note on my car. Guess who it was from? Yeah. Wow. After being broken up since 2004, and last hearing from him around 2006, I was beside myself.

I then found out from my dad (because I was at their house) that he actually came to the DOOR looking for me. Despite that my car was there, I was not. THANKFULLY.

Needless to say I freaked out a little. Wouldn't you? What could he have to say?? His note said he just wanted to say hi and it mentioned that he was at his parents' house for the night.

Yeah, like I'd go over there. I'd pass the spot in the concrete where we wrote our initials. No thanks. There was also the whole talking to him thing too. lol

One of my friends said I should talk to him though to see what he has to say. At first, I thought absolutely not!  He crushed me. And just the night before all of this, I happened to reread a poem I wrote about how he saved my life when he had walked out of it.

That Monday came and went without much thought about it. But then the other night I stumbled on some pictures from his sister's wedding. I saw him with his son. Weird because it was hard to see to him as a dad but cute. No flutteries though but I know I will always have some good and bad feelings towards him.

So maybe I should talk to him if the opportunity presents itself? Maybe he has changed. Maybe not. But that has to take balls to show up after 5 yrs. Plus, I think God promotes forgiveness more than hate. I'm tired of feeling that way about him. Not hate, but true dislike and betrayal....mixed with residual feelings from the good times. Let's face it...I'd like to tell him a few things too.

My dad said that no martter what happened between us, I was still a good friend to him. That's true. My friends and family are happy I didn't stay with him but for my dad to say that, it got me thinking.

I could be the better person. I usually have in our situation. I don't plan on pursuing this or making an effort. If he tried again to talk to me, do I respond?

Maybe I'll be less paranoid and more willing to be receptive should he contact me again. Neither one of our parents seems to be moving, so he will always be right there when he's visiting. It could be another 5 years too.

Then again, it could all just be my hormones talking. :)

Whew...that was long. Thanks for reading!!

Happy Baby Wishes,
The Mrs