BCPs and PMS???

I started BCP on Wednesday after my appointment. I swear I was one grouchy lady all day on Thursday and somewhat on Friday. WOW. My DH was part of it on Thurs I suppose and the frustration going on with a bunch of things. But DAMN.....I was a biatch.

I couldn't stop it. I should also mention I was probably going on very little sleep too which didn't help. But I certainly hope my bcps aren't causing severe PMS. lol

It seemed to subside after I got some rest and had a change of scenery. My mom, her friend, and I were at a craft show all day yesterday trying to sell our stuff. :)

So if anyone has a baby girl shower to go to and needs some adorable cupcake socks (baby socks in the shape of cupcakes), let me know. :)

We have more than that too...but anyways...

Our whole IF life resides in one person's hands right now. I debated on whether or not I should write about this but frankly...it will be less shocking when I announce we are stopping the IVF process in the next few days if I mention it now.

Now to be clear, I HOPE and PRAY that everything works out and we're able to continue this cycle without interruption to our insurance, etc...BUT ....

Right now...it's looking like a long shot.

There's really too much to type regarding the background of this whole situation. I even get confused myself and I'm frickin' living it!!

So let's just say for sanity's sake... that...the next few days are vital. I hope God helps this man look deep into his heart and understand our plight. Then, I hope God whispers in his ear to help us....help us make our baby dreams come true.

Through the IUIs, we kind of just went through the motions not knowing if we'd get preggers or not. I always thought it was my DH but it was me too. At least for the first one. After them failing and not knowing if they'd ever work...a lot changed on how we looked at this all.

Personally, I feel like I've always understood the severity and seriousness of what we're doing. DH didn't always express himself about it but usually had a "if it happens, it happens" mentality. At least that's what he wanted me to think, ya know?

But now...when everything seems to be riding on one decision or right now with the start of the IVF process...it's definitely become more and more serious for both of us.

Not only do we not know if we CAN do IVF, we are more and more aware that the possibility of nothing working and not having our own biological family....is devastating.

*Takes a deep breath*

It's hard to imagine that I WILL be pregnant someday. It feels like it's going to take forever. But it's even harder to imagine, and unbearable, to think we will never have children.

Cross your fingers, toes, whatever you can...please. Pray for me as I will pray for you. Baby dust to all...I hope I have good news for you soon!

And PS...HI to my new followers. Nice to see ya!!