Idle Minds ....Think Stupid Things

I was pretty good last week with taking it easy. I wasn't on strict bed rest or anything but definitely took things easily. I ignored most of the cleaning that needs to be done, took myself to the movies, tried to distract myself with catching up with my DVR, and slept.

But in the moments in between things, my mind starts to wander...I think some of the most ridiculous things. I'm not even sure I can relay them on here because they are quite embarrassing.

Normally at this point of a pregnancy or possible pregnancy, the woman is none the wiser. When you are going through IVF and you know that something has started growing and is hoping to attach...it makes you think crazy things.

There should be a book about What to Expect When You're Waiting After a IVF Cycle. Normal books talk about how a normal pregnancy is and what you should or shouldn't feel.

I am pretty sure that the majority of the books would be the same as babies generally grow the same either way. :)  But the one I suggested should have the first 5 chapters as...

You will not feel anything yet.

You will not hurt your embryo by lying on your stomach or bending down to paint your toe nails. You will not hurt anything if you wear jeans instead of sweatpants and yes, you can do a little laundry.

The amount of things that crossed my mind and then made me laugh at myself...is really too much to even write. Some of them were so absurd but I have forgotten them now.

The fertility website I go on sometimes has a great forum where people talk about their stories, successes, and such. Some people report feeling all kinds of things...which makes me panic that maybe I haven't felt anything.

I am still trying to give myself a chance...but I have to admit I woke up in a pretty pessimistic mood yesterday. So it's kind of a blessing in disguise that I haven't been able to get on said website for the last few days. It both soothes my mind as well as makes me wonder what I'm supposed to be doing, feeling, etc.

Truth is...we all have different experiences. And also, everything that people claim they feel or experience during this time...I feel like I can negate each one. Being tired, wanting to eat different things, nausea, boob twinges, etc...

That's part of PMS for me and I also take a pill that deals with my prolactin/boobs. I don't have a gallbladder anymore due to gallstones so I sometimes have tummy problems.

So you see...I pretty much drive myself crazy during this time. I try so hard not to...but the constant questioning is always there.

The other night I had some weird sharp pains in my left side of my pelvic area. It was really strange. It came all of a sudden. I almost woke up the hubby but it stopped so I shrugged it off.

TMI moment....WARNING...

I also had a glob of my crinone gel come out. That's never happened before.

But I probably just put it in funny that day or something.

Who knows....Just thought it was odd.

Side note...

Hubby has a phone interview today for somewhere across the country. It would be huge for him to get it. It would be more money, something he loves to do, and a great company to work for.

However, it would also mean a huge move.

We're hoping that 2 good things happen this week. I hope his interview goes well and he gets offered the job (despite my loathing for moving and intense fear of change) and of course...that "Chuck Norris" has decided to stick around and strive to go full term.

We shall see...

Thinking of You,
TheMrs