Post-Turkey Thoughts

Thanksgiving is officially over. It was good though. Our plans to visit DH's family in KY were interrupted because of my cycle. I'm hoping that is a good sign. :)

I am very cautious this time around but trying to be optimistic. It's hard to find the right balance between not getting your hopes up too high but still trying to have a positive, "it will happen" outlook.

I guess I am somewhere in between.

Finally on Wednesday I went in to get checked out. Like last time I didn't have a color change on my ovulation kit. When the nurse did the ultrasound, she discovered a 21mm follicle! There were a few other ones but they weren't anything to write home about.

Rewind to the last cycle and I had much, much smaller ones at this point. I ended up going in every other day almost to keep checking to see when or if I would do IUI.

This time everything was ready to go. So DH and I did the trigger shot on Wednesday night, did a little baby dance, and now we're going to our IUI appointment in 8-10 hours. His is at 8am and mine is at 10am.

This cycle has a lot riding on it I guess you could say. DH wants to take a little break if it doesn't work. Part of me understands and the other part just wants this to work sooooo badly.

I don't want to wait.

There's not much I can do about it though so no sense in worrying. Ha!

Friday (tomorrow) will start my 2WW which is basically torture. Wondering if it worked, what's going on in your body, how will you feel if it did or didn't work? What's the next step either way? If it did work, is it going to  progress properly??

Soooo many questions.

Kind of off subject ....

I am sorry for not being on here all that much lately. I've been busy and a lot hasn't been going on with our baby making stuff until recently. However, I think the main reason is that I just don't know what to say sometimes.

There are times when the words just won't come out. I can't bring myself to type them or they won't form in my mind. The ironic part of that is that this happens usually when I have sooo much to say. I just don't know how to say it...or don't want to bring myself to say it. If I say it or write  it, then it's real.

With the experiences that we've been through already...there are definitely lonely times in the car, before bed, playing on Facebook, or seeing babies at a store....that something inside hurts.

That's not a very good sentence...or thought...lol But maybe you know what I mean. There are points in all of this when I don't want to dwell on it, or talk about it. I certainly started talking about it much less than before. After the first time and what happened, I guess it's not all that surprising.

So while I am thankful for you reading this, I can't promise you updates all the time. I wish I could....but sometimes I choose to suffer in silence.

I hope you can understand that.